Choice Chat: About Race
If you are white, will you feel comfortable raising a non-white child? Are you willing to handle persistent questions, from your child and others if you become the mother to a son or daughter who clearly does not look like you? Would you consider moving to a more diverse neighborhood? Is a Russian child a stronger match for you than a Chinese child?
Jolene, whose daughter is from Guatemala, told me, "I'm clearly of the mindset that there's no shame in being honest about one's abilities. I personally had no problems adopting a child of another race and ethnic background with one big exception: I felt in no way equipped to handle the societal issues of a child with African/African-American heritage. "The child could be green and I'd have no problems nor would most of my family. However, I recognize that in this country there are huge issues around discrimination that as a very WASPY-looking woman I don't have the understanding or energy to tackle."
She also recognized that her first assumption-that she would adopt a girl from China-was not the right fit for her. "As shallow as this might sound, I don't like Asian art and culture enough to be excited about it, and I felt this alone would be a huge liability for my child."
