Adoption Agencies: The Choice Is Yours
There are many happy endings to adoption stories. But you will probably have to work hard to get there.
Kathy Brodsky is director of The Ametz Adoption Program/JCCA in New York City, an agency that helps people decide which type of adoption to pursue and how to navigate the process,. She says, "Choosing an agency is a pivotal part of the process. Your agency will be your guide, advocate, and, occasionally, a shoulder to lean on." Brodsky and her staff spend time getting to know their clients, and they consider many factors before a personalized adoption plan emerges. Before you ink your name on an agreement with an adoption agency, consider all the factors listed below.
1. First, decide whether you want to do a domestic or international adoption. If you're certain you want a newborn, domestic adoption is the route. Babies adopted internationally are often a year if not older. Do you feel most comfortable working with a local or a national adoption resource? For some, the idea of speaking with agency staff in person is absolutely essential. Others want to deal with an agency in a different time zone because this allows them to talk with staff before or after their own business hours.
2. Your finances are important to consider, too, when choosing an agency. Ask yourself: How much can you spend? How much does an agency that appeals to you charge for its services and how is its fee structure set up? Beware of agencies that charge large sums of money up front. And if someone tells you they know an agency that can get you a baby much faster but whose fees are considerably higher, run for the hills! This agency is preying on people's desperation, and a call to the Better Business Bureau is likely to yield complaints against it.
3. Talking with various adoption agency representatives at adoption conferences is a good way to find an agency that could be right the right fit. Pay careful attention to how forthcoming they are, how extensive their answers to your questions are, how easy they are to engage in more detailed conversation. If they put you on the defensive for seeking information, consider it a big red flag. Undoubtedly, you'll have lots of questions throughout the adoption process or need to talk over issues that almost inevitably come up. You need to feel confident that your queries are dealt with respectfully.
This is also a good way to test the waters regarding the agency's ability to be there for you emotionally. While you are not marrying your adoption agency, it will be a part of your life long after your adoption is complete. In domestic adoptions your agency may well be the conduit between you and your child's birth parents. In international adoption your agency will continue to be a resource connecting you to your child's birth country.
For a list of adoption events in your area as well as a directory of domestic and intercountry adoption agencies, go to the Adoptive Families magazine's website (adoptivefamilies.com).
4. Once you have developed a list of potential agencies, compare agency track records. Check out how long each agency has been in business and how many children it places each year. Find out exactly what services the agency provide. Determine if there are requirements regarding age, sexual orientation, or religion.
5. In a domestic adoption, will the agency do all the advertising for a pregnant woman who wants to place her child, or are you expected to search on your own as well? How do they choose which birth mothers will see your portfolio? And how do they handle situations that fall through? (In that case, you should not have to pay additional fees.)
Checking out agencies can be a little like going on a series of blind dates. You gather the facts, get to know them as well as you can, and then follow your gut. After all, you are entering into a relationship that should last a lifetime.
