Being Mindful Worksheet

There are many things to consider when making the decision to adopt. Some things might be easy for you to decide, and others not. Take extra care with questions that are more difficult for you to answer. Maybe talk with a counselor, trusted friend or family member to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings around any particular question.

1. What age of child do I prefer to start with? Is there flexibility on my part? What age range might I consider? How would this affect the waiting period?

2. What about sex of child? Is this important to me or am I flexible?

3. How would I name my child? Do I give them a new name or keep their birth name or combine it? Will age of child affect the name?

4. Would I consider a sibling group? What if I find out that the child I will be adopting has a sibling that I didn't know about until later? How would I respond? What would I have to consider?

5. How am I doing financially? Am I ready for the initial expenses? How about expenses for later on? Do I have family, friends, community resources that could help me if I needed it?

6. Do I have a daycare in mind? What are the expenses?

7. What do I know about local support resources for me and my child? Is it important that my agency provide support groups within its organization, or can I get them elsewhere?

8. Am I prepared for the "waiting" time for either domestic or international adoption? Do I want to work with a schedule imposed by international adoption paperwork and bureaucracy, which can take upwards of a year? Or do I prefer the domestic route, which might depend on the serendipity of being chosen by a birth parent?

9. Especially if considering an international adoption: What kind of culture am I drawn to? Do I have ancestry or special interest within a particular culture? Is this country available to me as a single adoptive parent?

10. Especially if considering domestic adoption: How comfortable am I with an "open" adoption? How "open" am I willing to be? What are my limits? (read Section 3)

11. How capable and willing am I to raise a special needs child? What types of needs do I feel capable of working with, and which do I not feel able to handle (developmental delays, chronic care, neurological, disabled)?

12. What are my feelings on race? Could I be a mother to a child from a different race? Am I comfortable with being the head of a transracial family? What resources do I have? What about my family of origin? Do I need their support with this decision? (read Section 2)