How to Adopt

Adapted from material produced by Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

If there is one thing every child deserves, it is a permanent, loving family. Children deserve the love, attention and guidance only a nurturing parent can give. But unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. Hundreds of thousands of children around the world are waiting to be placed with a permanent family, living in foster care homes, orphanages, or group homes. And children everyday are born to birth parents who cannot take care of them.

State laws vary when it comes to the question of who may adopt. Agencies tend to be most flexible when placing children from foster care, but domestic and international adoption is possible regardless of marital status, sexual orientation (although it can be harder for some gay and lesbian applicants at some places) and financial situation.

Adoption is a big step, and hundreds of questions might come to mind if you take this journey. The simple goal of this article is to help get you started.

Step 1: Learn about adoption, beyond this book.

There are many excellent resources that provide information and referral services, many of them listed at the end of this book. One place to start is Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, for the complete A Child Is Waiting: A Beginner's Guide to Adoption, from which this article was derived. Call 1-800-275-3832, or see DaveThomasFoundationForAdoption.org.

Step 2: Do a self assessment.

Children don't need perfect parents, just at least one loving individual willing to meet the unique challenges of parenting and make a lifetime commitment to caring for them. Important personal characteristics include: patience, perseverance, sense of humor, love of children, ability to love unconditionally, resourcefulness. (See the preceding article.)

Step 3: Decide what type of adoption you want to pursue.

Do you have a specific age range in mind? Are you open to special physical or emotional needs? Would you like to adopt a sibling group? Could the child be from a different cultural background than your own?

Step 4: Investigate ways to cover adoption expenses.

There are tips in this book to follow.

Step 5: Select an adoption agency.

You must work with an agency in the state where you live. Some agencies handle the entire adoption process, holding your hand step by step, while others expect you to take the initiative and learn about procedures and deadlines yourself. Ask about the type of children they place, their fees, how they assess and prepare families, how long it will take. Speak with other parents who have used the agency. Choose with care. (An article about this follows as well.)

Step 6: Let your agency know you are serious about adopting.

Many people are not. A common first step is an orientation meeting or training session.

Step 7: Complete an adoption application.

Step 8: Begin the home study process.

Everyone must take this step. The process can take anywhere from two months to a year. You can expect to answer questions about your background, education, job history, marriage, leisure activities, religion, experience with children. The goal is to help the agency locate the best home for each child. It is much more than a visit to see if your home is clean and neat. It is an education process for your social worker and for you.

Step 9: Take adoption and parenting classes.

Step 10: Begin searching for a child.

Some places to start: the website for your home state, adoptamericanetwork.org, adoptuskids.org, capbook.org, adoptex.org.

Step 11: Find the perfect match.

Once you've identified a child that seems like a match, learn as much as you can from foster parents or the social worker: favorites, background, medical history, birth parents, ways to comfort the child.

Step 12: Prepare for your child's arrival.

Step 13: Bring your child home.

Step 14: File a petition to adopt.

Step 15: Finalize the adoption.