Where Children and Choice Moms Can Meet
Adoption is about finding families for children,
not finding children for families.
~ Lee Varon, author of Adopting On Your Own
Until recently, the popular places for Choice Mom adoption were China (almost guaranteed daughter), Russia (reduced transracial adoption issues), and Guatemala (relatively quick process).
But now that China has become more restrictive about who can adopt its children, and virtually closed the door to single parents, and now that Guatemala has joined Vietnam as a country that is restructuring its adoption laws because of abuses in the system, the options for single women might seem reduced. But that's not the case. There are simply more places for Choice Mom-in-the-making to consider.
Single women and lesbians are not allowed to adopt in most international countries - and even the foster care system has pockets that prefer a stay-at-home parent - but there continue to be many children waiting for permanent families, with programs that work with single applicants (and lesbians who do not disclose).
Here's a sampler, current for 2007 placements, which can serve as a guideline. As always, adoption tends to go more quickly if you are open to either gender, and are willing to consider sibling groups or special needs, which we'll describe in more detail later in this article. Any agency you work with will have more up-to-date information. Especially in regards to who has been approved to work with in accordance with the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. The U.S. State Department is another good source, at travel.state.gov/family/adoption.
International
Ethiopia
For placement of an infant, the parent needs to be under the age of 50. An applicant older than that could be accepted for an older child. It can take more than 9 months for referral after documentation is complete. After referral is accepted, at least 3 months might go by before placement. Excluding travel, costs can be less than $15,000 (and even less if a sibling group is accepted). A week-long stay tends to be required for final placement. Has a waiting child list for older kids and those with special needs that enables parents to choose the child, rather than wait for a blind referral. Most kids are roughly one year when they are placed, although it can be younger than that. They tend to be living with extended family, in orphanages or in foster homes, generally with good care and with adequate medical reports. Many of them were relinquished for adoption because of a stigma against single mothers, who tend not to have much support, or because of poverty, disease or death. Family history tends to be more open than in other countries. The number of placements from this country has increased significantly in recent years, thanks in part to publicity about how the AIDS crisis has affected Ethiopian families. Regular post-adoption reports are required. Ethiopia is not currenly a member of the Hague Treaty. Your agency must be approved by the Ethiopian government, which has occasionally also granted adoptions by gays and lesbians.
Haiti
Because of the lengthy adoption process, the average age of a child when placed is two years. One trip of generally less than a week is required. There is a lot of variation about how long it takes for referral after paperwork is complete, and between referral and placement, but could take two years for both. The cost not including travel is usually under $20K. Most of the children waiting for placement are living in a group home situation, and have been relinquished because of poverty or death. It is not the most consistent place for adoption process, but medical reports are typically reliable. Birth parents can sometimes be met.
India
It's not guaranteed, but placement can be made for single women under the age of 45 on a case-by-case basis. Most children are under the age of one year, and many suffer from low birth rate. A travel companion is preferred for single women, which could last anywhere from a month to two. It can take up to a year after paperwork is submitted, and about a half year after referral. Generally costs under $20K, but not including travel. The average child ready for placement is 1.5 years. Most of these kids are living in good orphanages with reliable medical reports, and were often relinquished because of the stigma of single parenthood or poverty. A post-adoption report is required evert six months for two years.
Kahzakstan
A single female can generally adopt a child who is an infant or older, typically a mix of Caucasian/Asian, with a longer wait for girls. Travel requirements are extensive, ranging from one two month trip, or two trips of about three weeks and two weeks. An escort bringing the child to the U.S. after one three week trip can also be arranged. It usually takes less than a month for referral after paperwork. The cost is higher than many countries, not including travel, of roughly $25K. The children typically live in an orphanage. Many of them are relinquished because of poverty, or rejection of a mixed-race child by family. Like Russia, fetal alcohol syndrome can be an issue. Post-adoption reports required until the age of 18.
Liberia
One of the more liberal countries, with few restrictions on who may adopt. One trip of less than a week is required. An infant and toddler can be referred within a year of paperwork, and children above the age of four can be referred within three months, but most kids are at least five. After referral, the process also is relatively quick, of less than six months for placement. The cost is generally under $15K, not including travel or an allowable escort. Many of the kids live in orphanages and large foster homes, with little medical information available. Poverty, war and the stigma of single motherhood are common reasons for relinquishment. Post-adoption reports are required to the age of 18.
Mexico
Each state has its own laws, so requirements about who may adopt varies. Some allow singles and others don't. Newborns can be placed with its birth mother placement program, otherwise children from orphanages are generally toddlers and older. About two months worth of travel, divided between two or three trips, is required. It can take up to a year for a referral after paperwork. Newborns can be placed within five months after referral. When placed from a birth mother program the cost is substantially higher, close to $30K, not including travel. For older children the cost tends to be an average of $15K. Relinquishment is often because of poverty and stigma of single motherhood. The country requires a great deal of paperwork.
Poland
Most children are at least three years old when placed, and the mother can be no more than 40 years older than the child. It can take longer to be placed with a girl. Two trips are usually required, one of about three weeks, the second of less than a week. It can take two years to get a referral of a child under the age of seven after paperwork is complete, and significantly less than that if the child is older or if a sibling group is being placed. It can take as little as three weeks for placement after referral. The cost can be $25K, not including travel. Usually parental rights are terminated because of abuse, neglect or poverty. Fetal alcohol syndrome can be an issue, but that tends to be apparent if present because of the older age of most of these children. Having Polish ancestry is considered a plus.
Russia
Single applicants tend to need more documentation for approval, including verification of a strong financial background, good family support and role models, and a psychiatric evaluation. Russian judges tend not to want the mother to be much more than 45 years older than the child. Will consider parents with serious health issues, including depression, but only on a case-by-case basis; this should be discussed with your agency. Children tend to be placed who are at least 9 months old. Most live in an orphanage, and typically were removed from the home because of alcohol abuse. Fetal alcohol syndrome is a significant issue for many of these kids, which can cause developmental and growth delays. Low birth rate is common. Medical reports tend to be adequate, although there will be cases of undiagnosed medical problems, and little information about prenatal and birth family history is available. Referral time for boys is shorter than for girls. There have been many policy changes with Russia lately, which affects timing and even what agencies are accredited to make placements, but the time to referral could be less than a few months for boys and more than 10 months for girls. Placement of the child varies considerably by region, but will take a few months after referral is accepted. Two trips are required: one for about 5 days to meet the child, the second for about 2-3 weeks to finalize the adoption. The cost, not including travel, tends to be at least $18,000. Four post-adoption reports are required of the home study agency.
Proceed with Caution
Guatemala
The official brakes are on Guatemala as of this printing. Two DNA tests are currently required to match a child and birth mother relinquishing for adoption, since there have been abuses in the unregulated system - children have been given up for adoption by people posing as family. After things get legally shaken out, we'll revisit this country on ChoiceMoms.org.
Vietnam
Another country that has allowed some single-parent adoptions in recent years, but is currently in a holding pattern because of irregularities and fraud in the way children are placed for adoption. See ChoiceMoms.org website for updates as they develop.
Coming Soon
There are two American agencies that likely will be approved in June 2008 to adopt out of Kenya. Said one Choice Mom who does work in the area, "I've met dozen of single moms who have adopted kids here. Which is pretty great in a country where there are 1.7 million kids looking for parents." ChoiceMoms.org will also be reporting developments for single women who want to adopt from Panama.
Special Needs
As we discussed earlier in the book (see Foster Care section), someone who wants to parent can jump to the head of the line in most cases if they are willing to consider a special needs adoption. From the AdoptUSKids.org website:
Does "special needs" mean that a child is physically disabled or has severe medical or emotional challenges?
Certainly these needs would be considered "special needs." However "special needs" within the adoption field most likely means the children are simply older, belong to an ethnic minority, are part of a sibling group and/or bear the emotional burden of having been abused or neglected. Sometimes a child may have a risk factor such as prior exposure to drugs or alcohol before birth, which might put them at risk for developmental delays or learning problems in the future. They might have been abandoned, which means there is no known family history, which would also put them at risk.
A child considered to have "special needs" is frequently entitled to receive benefits, such as increased financial assistance, Medicaid, or therapeutic support services, while in foster care. These benefits can continue after adoption.
